I am a spirit, cyclical and bright. As you start this year, I urge you to live in your spirit. Each day set an intention and see it through to the best of your ability. You have a year, you have a beautiful life, and you are whole.
“To become and to be a mother
A woman must stand
Strong and steady
Moving, imperceptible
As a mountain;
Yet she must flow,
Yielding around obstacles
As a river does –
Sometimes slowly and gently,
Oftentimes with turbulence
And still be true to herself.”
Happy New Year! A wonderful event occurred over the holidays, I found out that I am pregnant! It is very exciting for my husband and I as we have tried to conceive a child for 7 years. I was inspired to tell my story by my sister-in-law. Thank you, Rochelle!
I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in high school and knew even when I married that conception may be difficult. Emotionally, it was heartbreaking. We tried the fertility route after we married and both of us felt very uncomfortable by the invasive treatments and lack of emotional understanding by the doctors and staff. It wasn’t until I met a wonderful midwife who reminded me…”these doctors, this route, they are all your choice. If you feel uncomfortable in any way, then honor that feeling. You are hiring them, not the other way around.” She reminded me in a gentle way of my choice in the situation. So, we decided to give it a rest.
As my husband and I enjoyed our marriage, forming a strong partnership over the years many changes took place. We bought and renovated a house, the place we thought would be the perfect place to raise children. Were we ready though? We always questioned it…are we fulfilled? How can we raise children when we haven’t even given our dreams a chance? I look back now and I feel blessed that only God knew the best time. Oftentimes I laugh thinking that Patience is one of my life lessons. I watched as all of my friends and family members had babies and often times it hurt. Sometimes it was the unknowingness that it would happen, other times it was selfish as in why couldn’t I have that? It taught me so much about trust and faith.
At a certain point I changed my story and realized that Yes! it would happen, no I do not have control over it. I let it go and I lived my life. I let those that were pressuring me know that when it happened it will and pcos or not, if its meant to be it will be…motherhood that is. Sometimes it engulfed my world, but now I know why and the strength that my dis-ease in my body offered was what has taught me the most. It is what drives me today to help women in my health coaching business. I had to find my teachers and follow my instincts as to how to heal my body. I did not have the typical period in the early teenage years nor the baby after you marry. No, I was given the gift of illness in order to now take what I have learned and help others.
Our perspectives changed on having babies and slowly my husband and I both found our focus and our passion. Then, we moved. The move was good for both of us. It was a fresh start after 6 years of marriage and the timing felt right. Our community was different, open and kind. We met new people and we love where we live! We realized…this is the place we want to raise our children!
In the last few years with all of these changes our food philosophy and supplementation changed too. I began an herbal supplement regimen at the advice of an herbalist and during a summer studying at an herb farm. I began taking Gaia Herb’s Vitex (Chaste Berry) and then about a year later added evening primrose oil. The synergy of the two in conjunction with our new lifestyle and food habits is what I believe was the key to our success.
I never tracked my ovulation or my body temperature as I so diligently did many years ago early in our baby dream days. I enjoyed life and I had faith. My lifestyle now is so different than the pressures and expectations that I placed on myself back then and I feel grateful that I am now at an “advanced maternal age”. In the past, I struggled with expectations of others and myself and the looming black cloud of “timing” according to society. Now, I am so much more aware of who I am and what I want to create for this miracle inside of me than I ever was 7 years ago.
Please remember if you and your partner are trying to conceive or if you need support, please reach out. I have been there and I know how it feels at all levels, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I can help you to balance your hormones, update your diet to achieve pregnancy and find lifestyle solutions that will support you as you join the great tribe of women in motherhood.