Death doesn't always have to be so dark. I saw my Uncle Allan, a brave soul, who accepted that he had a short while to live. I visited with him the day before he passed and death always catches me by surprise. You aren't really prepared, you don't know what to do, a vulnerability emerges as what to do next. Yes, I am an adult and have been faced with this before, but no two deaths are the same. My belief that is as a society, we think death is dark and scary. Well, maybe its my Catholic roots or all I have learned about crossing over, but I believe it is so magnificent and when you take that journey, it is all light! Yes, the people that loved you in the physical world will be emotional and it will take time to heal. If the newly crossed over have self-work to do, no doubt you will do it on the other side. It was comforting so to speak to see a man I had known my whole life, who gifted me with my first pair of skis, to be so at peace at the time of his death.
I also saw light when on our visit, we reconnected with family and love was shared amongst us. I watched as we all held hands in a circle around my Uncle's bed saying the Our Father and the Hail Mary. It was powerful and believe me, life does not prepare you for those moments. I shed tears and I prayed for his safe return home. I also prayed for his family, especially Maria. When you always see your Aunt so happy and always laughing, you are not prepared to see her so sad and with tears..again, you are not prepared. Somehow though, with the support and love of us all, I do know she will return to her happy self and lightness will abound around her. It does give you that insight that worries are wasteful and what we really need to be doing is loving one another and communicating that, because we never know when death will be upon us. So hug your loved ones tighter and for gosh sakes, say "I love you!"
I was asked by my older sister, the eulogy queen :), no seriously! to write a few words about my Uncle Allan. Here they are and before I end I want to say Thank you to Allan. I know you are with us! You are a courageous person to show us all how in "darkness", there is light and with that I wish you peace.
Allan, what can I say other than a genuine, warm, easy to talk to person. When you saw him at family gatherings both large and small he was always there waiting to welcome you with a smile and a big hug. The feeling I always received from him was pure joy to see you and he imbued warmth and peace in his ways. He was easy to talk to, gregarious and always up for a good conversation. Allan was an incredibly genuine man, he was never trying to be someone else. His character was that of love and his family was so important to him.